Today I saw someone beautiful

26Aug09

I was in an apple store today looking at ipods.. The place was so crowded I could hardly move around. There stood a young Indian woman.. athletic. Very shapely. Her jealous looking bf seemed to orbit her as she seemed to posed in front of an invisible stage. I suppose people find such insecure driven relationships flattering. I think it’s desperate, one sided, and self indulgent, but to each his own…
Anyway, I noticed a girl following me. she look 9 or 10. I suppose I just looked like an attractive guy to her. I am attractive I’m lucky, but I’m not a prick about it. She followed by my side every time I’d go to check out a new phone to play with. I wonder what she was doing? was she hovering close to me to look at me? Did she have some sort of attraction for me? I was flattered all the same. I was checking out all the women. But I was flattered most by my young new friend.. if only I could return the favor..
If only I could tell her ‘hi’ or tell her that she has pretty eyes. I’ve seen better yes, but she was beautiful to me all the same.

Oh well.. I ignored her… unfortunately. I was afraid.. society has made me so…

I stay single, unwilling to date women my own age. I’ve tried it many times before.. It’s not good for me. My experiences with women are sad.. I appear to be a man lacking in sex drive and zeal. The truth is, I find girlfriends more to be my friends then lovers.. Although I feel love for them and even lust, my preference is more cordial.

I yearn to look eye to eye and feel the warm soft embrace of a very young girl child whom I would never hurt. And any sexual actions initiated by her would meet the most responsive, primal, and cautious response. Maybe someday in a more sensitive, open minded world.

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